So maybe it wasn't Grayskull but I gave myself a talking to, dug deep, turned my dread into motivation and got outside. Of course, not before the universe tried to derail me...
- "train traffic" (sorry Alexis, they're necessary) caused a longer trip home from the office than usual. I use the quotes b/c I really doubt any such thing existed, I waited for my subway for a bit - there was nothing in front of it.
- I attempted to purchase a handful of new songs to spice up a playlist when iTunes flipped out giving me a erroneous credit-to-my-account error when attempting to make my purchases.
- my Garmin decided to pitch a fit and wouldn't gain a satellite signal. I guess it was all those crazy white fluffy things in the sky getting in the way.
As I got to ticking away the miles my thoughts turned to why I should be happy to have the ability to run at all. My mind went immediately to Erika dealing with a sore shin and possible IT band issue just a couple weeks before her goal HM, to Jen who is not running at all right now b/c of recurring back and leg issues and to Jason who hobbles around after every soccer game with a likely torn meniscus. And that's just my immediate family.
I am lucky, I am strong, I will do this.
Further in I get to thinking a bit deeper. The BIL of my sister Jen's best friend is in a fight for his life right now. All within two weeks time he found out he has lung cancer (having never been a smoker), is probably stage 4 and is starting chemo. Here is a guy my age, a son, a brother, a soon-to-be-uncle, an athlete!!! And although I've only met him once, last year just as I finished the San Francisco HM (segment I) and he started the same race segment II, I'm struggling with what he must be going through. What it feels like to not know. This strengthens my resolve, quickens my feet and has me thinking of what can be offered to the universe, to the higher powers, to the earth to let him go on. To provide him the positive energy to get through this.
I decide my offering will be this run. I will stay positive, I will cherish the two legs that carry me, the two lungs that keep me breathing and the heavy heart that makes it all possible. I will pick up the pace, finish strong and satisfied.
I hope it's enough, Daihi.