This training cycle for NYC has been such an odd experience. From the start it was nothing like what I've done in the past, not like anything pre-coach Lloyd or since working with him. Unlike either of my first NYC marathon experiences where I was still relatively new to the long distance running scene. I've felt up, I've felt depressed, I've assessed, I've struggled, I've re-assessed, I considered running several October marathons and on the complete other end of the spectrum, nearly decided to bag a fall race altogether. Ultimately I comfortably decided to run on the streets of my city in my [adopted] hometown marathon once again. Coach has been very patient with my swings in mood and decision making and kept me moving forward. As for me, I know full well that I'm not in prime shape but also not unprepared, injured or otherwise incapacitated. And that, that knowledge right back there (<----) has been the crux of my thinking this week.
Earlier in the week I let coach know how I was feeling, responding to him: I'm feeling pretty good and eager for the race. Not surprising I'm almost as eager to cap off this cycle and start fresh again, while the lower mileage feels right for the here and now and I've struggled to remain consistent since May, it's not the best fit for me. I'm looking forward to more running and rebuilding for 2011.
Of course all that is true but there's something else in those words. It's me almost too eager to be done with this cycle, with the NYCM and ready to almost (you see it too, don't you?) erase the experience for the prospects of a better training cycle. Now maybe I'm judging myself too much but I see it and while I know what works for me and what doesn't I also seem to be missing out on an opportunity here. Not every cycle is ideal, not every cycle is perfect. I had what felt to me to be a damn near ideal cycle leading up to May 1 and it didn't yield what I wanted, what I knew I had in me. This feeling lingers and now I can't help but feel it is standing in my way of a still solid race in NYC.
Don't get me wrong, this summer, while frustrating and aimless, has left me with many great running experiences as well. I've logged some nice miles in the Palisades with LK, EG and SP not to mention miles and miles of bridges with EG, AC, ES & DN and a weekly Tuesday running date with TK. I also had the immense pleasure of accompanying Missy on her first race post-pregnancy, a thrill beyond words! Most recently I logged two LRs that covered portions of the NYCM course and wow, that was an experience I have not yet had and in itself identifies this cycle as something unique. And so I should take the sum of all these experiences and add them to my solo running and see that all is not lost and with adjusted goals, I earned the right for a solid race in NY in less than two weeks.
8 comments:
See, the thing is, this IS different from other training cycles -- which may be just what you need to have the race you want. No 18 weeks filled with expectation, no pressure. Just run. You'll have a great day :)
I echo the above comment - no expectations, just go with the flow and have a terrific race, Maria!
I think all training cycles (especially looong marathon training cycles) are full of ups and downs. They are so much more work mentally, physically, emotionally, etc. than I ever though. Just push all of your worries out of your head. It's one of the greatest days in NYC, and you'll have the best time and experience! Good luck :)
What they said. :-)
Seriously, I think no matter what this is gonna be a good day for you. Because there is a decent chance it will result in a fabulous race time - because even if your body/mind aren't in tip-top shape, they are super-fit. And even if the day doesn't bring you the time on the race clock that you are looking for, it will be a good day because you will be done with marathons for 2010 and can put all this behind you and start fresh.
BUT - for the record - I think you're gonna have a speedy time!
Maria, my fellow type-A woman. I know how hard what I am about to suggest to you really is:
Just. Go. With. The. Flow.
Don't try and take control of this race. Don't try and finagle a surprise PR. Don't try and eeke out some awesome story. I know--I've been there, with crazy goals and high expectations. It's what we do as women who can do it all.
The greatest gift you can give yourself right now is to have this "cycle" (god that word makes me think of our 28-day menstrual cycle, UGH) result in a joyous, relaxed, touristy run through New York City on November 7th.
Don't pressure yourself. You have missed out on NOTHING. There is no badge of honor for running X number of marathons in a year. Just have fun with this one, and run with the sumg knowledge that you are going to SMOKE the field in whatever marathon you choose to focus on in 2011.
PS you are gorgeous.
I meant to say smug.
Also, "touristy" is NOT dirty word in this context.
I like what pigtails said. Just go with it. Whatever is meant to be will be... so just let it. Run for the joy of it. For the experience that is the New York Marathon.
Enjoy it.
You will rock it. I can't wait to track you and hear all about it. Have fun!
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