::rubs eyes::

So yeah the summer is gone and while it was long and still seems to be hanging out on some days with wild, weird temperature & humidity fluctuations, it's a long season that has come to an end. Looking back I can't help but feel I spent the whole time waiting.  Patiently at times, fussily at others.  Desperate most.  Yearning for a sign, some start of kick start, some reminder, some drive, some anything ...that would get me feeling on track or alive or inspired.  I've started 6-7 different posts, all on the same topic, none ever completed nor published to the blog b/c even those thoughts were uninspired and soon dried up.  And so I stayed in a mode I've been in before and will undoubtedly be in at some point in the future.  I continued to "Taurus" my running ...yeah I just made that term up but it's accurate.  To "Taurus" one's {insert activity here} is to continue pushing in the most stubborn of manners hoping that eventually the sheer brute force of this action will result in a positive outcome.  

It didn't work.  I continued to wait.  I continue to waffle.  And then I broke down before/during the New Haven 20K over Labor Day.  I have never wanted to run less.  I wasn't tired, I wasn't hurting, I just didn't want to run.   Since then I've been running only when I want and keeping it easy.  No plan.  Straight free balling.  

Until today.

Without suspecting a thing, a single action seemed to have slapped me in the face & reignited that fire I'd been so very much missing.  The action?  NYRR released the wave, corral and bib numbers for the NYC Marathon.   I don't know exactly what it was in receiving this information but it instantly framed out the remaining 6 or so weeks until race day for me.  I will run this marathon (that I'm already registered for) and I will not just glide along until that time.  I will give it whatever I can.

And so the summer of sulking comes to an end, thank god!!  I feel I have a renewed purpose in my running and my training and I'm quite literally going to run with it.  Doesn't hurt that I recently came upon this favorite Nike campaign on Megan's blog, The Runner's Kitchen

“You pretended the snooze button didn’t exist. You dragged your butt out of bed while others slept. While others ate their pancakes you had a feast of protein, glucose and electrolytes. You double-knotted. You left the porch light on and locked the door behind you.

You ran 5Ks, 10Ks, 26.2 miles. Some days more, some days less. You rewarded a long run with a short run. And a short run with a long run. Rain tried to slow you. Sun tried to microwave you. Snow made you feel like a warrior.

You cramped. You bonked. You paid no mind to comfort. On weekends. On holidays. You made excuses to keep going. Questioned yourself. Played mind games. Put your heart before your knees. Listened to your breathing. Sweat sunscreen into your eyes. Worked on your farmer’s tan.

You hit the wall. You went through it. You decided to be man about it. You decided to be woman about it. Finished what you started. Proved what you were made of. Just kept putting mile after mile on your interval odometer. For 25 years, you ran. And we ran with you. How much farther will we go? As far as you will.”